


BAU... and other Drugs.

by Gunnvör (qoyzhavvorsi), qoyzhavvorsi



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Bissexual!Penelope, Bissexual!Reader, Complicated Relationships, Drugs, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Light BDSM, Self-Destruction, Smut, Violence, bold spencer, but not much i swear, i'll add tags as i go, im sorry, kinda angst, mention of rape, spencer is a babe, there's a happy ending i swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-29
Updated: 2015-11-18
Packaged: 2018-04-28 17:19:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5098886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qoyzhavvorsi/pseuds/Gunnv%C3%B6r, https://archiveofourown.org/users/qoyzhavvorsi/pseuds/qoyzhavvorsi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Can something nice start at an addiction? Can an addiction be something nice? Can something not be nice involving Spencer Reid?<br/>You start working at the BAU only to have your life turned upside down and to find out the geeky cute nerd who seems to be your complete opposite is not that much of an opposite at all.<br/>But will he understand your demons as you can feel his?</p><p>(this sounds more dramatic that it actually is omg)<br/> </p><p>(character might have some small characteristics the reader does not have like tattoos)</p><p>Sorry, i suck at summaries.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Welcome Home

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language, please understand if something sound weird or i make some mistakes, let me know. I wanted to write in english so more people could read it ^^

“Garcia, c’mon’ it’s not a big deal” JJ run after the tech analyst into her “bat cave”. 

“They are REPLACING me” Penelope shouted into tears as the rest of the group goes into the room.

“No one can EVER replace you, baby girl” Morgan took her hands and wiped away some tears, smiling softly. 

“But, but....Hotch said...” the tears coming down again.

“He said there will be a new tech girl to help you here” JJ added “You’re not going anywhere, tech goddess” Garcia laughed softly and looked and them. 

“Thank you guys” 

“I bet she’s not even half as good as you” Spencer said, he was trying to think about something to say. He was not good with this feelings thing.

“You’re a genius, boy wonder” Garcia looked at him and rapidly turned to one of the screens. Everyone stood in silence. “Let’s check this newbie and see who we’re dealing with” she explained herself typing faster.

“Garcia, I don’t think we should...” Spencer tried to stop her, too late

“Found her! C’MON SWEDEN? She’s Swedish?” She was reading the file on her screen as everyone approached curious...

“She’s kinda hot” Derek added, getting hit on the arm by Garcia “what... she is...”

 

“Thank you... actually, I was born in Detroit, went to Sweden a few years ago, got caught, went to jail, they sent me back to ‘Murica and here I am” a voice they didn’t recognize came from the door as everyone froze and turn around to meet the small girl with pale skin, raven hair, ripped clothes and smudged make up, which seemed on propose and looked good on her.  
They could see tattoos on her arms and one going up her neck. It was intimidating and pretty. 

“Hi! We were.... we were curious to meet you” JJ finally spoke and gave her a hand shake “I’m Special Agent Jennifer Jareau, but everyone call me JJ, this is Derek Morgan, Dr. Spencer Reid and Penelope Garcia... you gonna work with her!” JJ smiled trying to make the situation less awkward as the new girl met her co-workers, stopping one second too long on Garcia and winking at her. 

“I’m (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N), but you may call me (Y/N)... or Queen” – she quickly added with a small laugh, tossing her small frame on the spinning chair. 

 

“I see you already met the team Ms. (Y/L/N)” Hotch voice in the door as everyone looked at him and she waved, smiling again.

“Yes, I did, they’re awesome. Thank you, Sir” Hotch nodded and walked away. Everyone looked back at the girl, still in silence “What? You guys are the best on this godforsaken land, you are awesome” 

 

“You said you went to JAIL?” Penelope finally was able to formulate a full sentence as the girl nodded with her head. “Why?” 

“Well, I killed this guy and ate his liver and...” Penelope started to turn green in sickness and (Y/N) could not hold her loud laughter. 

“Gosh! For the best I surely expected you guys to know when a girl is lying” everyone in the room seemed relieved as she added “I got caught hacking government information and erasing some of mine from their data...well, got a free ride home”

“What kind of information did you erase?” Reid finally asked and she looked back at him.

“That is not concern of you, is it doctor?” the doctor swallowed and looked down excusing himself from the room as the others kept talking to her. It seems like the girl didn’t want to talk to him. 

“Hey” the girl talked back to Reid “I was just kidding, prince. I’m sorry.” She seemed kinda uneasy and Reid smiled awkwardly, coming back to the group, prince?

 

YOUR P.O.V

 

First day on a new job, what an irony, out of jail to work on the FBI.  
Damn, I’m awesome!

I got into the building and gave my ID to the security on the door. They spoke to someone and a man on a suit and a face that does not make friends came talk to me

“Good morning Miss (Y/L/N), I am BAU Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner. I’m here to guide to through the facility and introduce you to your new colleagues” man, he means business. Does this guy even know how to have fun? “I believe agent Prentiss from International Relations already talked to you on the job” I nodded my head as I started walking with him “you work on the Swedish data was ...quite impressive” to say the least, boss. “and we really need people like you on our facility, we have our tech Ms. Garcia, but she sure wouldn’t mind some help” some other guy on a suit stopped big ol’ boss to talk about some papers and I thought I heard my name behind a door. My name?

I stood at the door while four people were looking at a screen with my file, one of them told the others I was hot and I tried not to laugh, as I called their attention. 

They got pretty nervous and I found it all hilarious. The petit blonde one trying to fix it all, she seemed nice but nothing special, just nice, than the dark skinned man, daaamn he was big and handsome, and charming. He was the one who called me hot and looked me up and down. I kept my (e/c) eyes locked on his, confident, you ain’t scaring me big boy. Next was the pretty boy, he wasn’t handsome like the first one or masculine. He was pretty, delicate, sweet. Like a prince. A sweet prince, like an ethereal dream. It got me disturbed a bit, what the fuck?  
It took me a second to get on my feet again and say hi to the last one, a hot blonde with colorful stripes on her hair, Penelope, my co-worker, now wasn’t she a babe? Hi, Darling, do you like girls? I winked at her and she blushed a little, is that a yes?

We spent some time talking until Mr. Boss came again and called the super heroes team to the rescue and me and Penelope started our super duper job at the computers. Isn’t this great?


	2. Welcome Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> all was going pretty well on your job until you really needed a bathroom on a hungover day.   
> those are the worst days, weren't they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "sweet prince" i keep mentioning is from My Sweet Prince, by Placebo. I keep listening on repeat when I got the whole idea for this.   
> you can check it here www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ASSP9tl0p0

Some weeks later...

 

 

Fuck fuck fuck fuck, you need a bathroom, NOW! Damn that overpriced latte. Damn the alcohol of last night. You felt like you’d throw up at any moment now, please don’t let that be in front of your boss,   
The building was full and the first bathroom you found was technically “closed to repair” oh Heavens... Never mind it has to be this one!   
You stormed into the room and there went your coffee into the sink, since it was right in front of you. A noise into the stall called your attention as you saw a little bottle roll over to your feet.

“Hi? You dropped someth...” your whole body froze as you saw the small container used to hold Delaudid. The stall door was locked but you knocked anyway. “It’s okay, I won’t tell anyone... Look, I was throwing up because I am hungover as hell, for fuck’s sake. I know I’m new here and you probably don’t even know me but you can trust me, I have my share of demons...” you heard the lock goes off and slowly pulled the door open to reveal a familiar face inside, still on the high of the drug. 

“Hi sweet prince” you kneel before Spencer Reid, your colleague, holding his hand softly, trying to hide the surprise. True were, you guys barely spoke anything that wasn´t work related, but that was not the case right now, he couldn’t even open his eyes, needle still on his arm. 

“D-D-Don’t....” he tried to mumble, but you shushed him with your fingers and took the needle off his arm pulling down the sleeve, Spencer did not move.

“It’s okay...” you pulled his hair away from his forehead “Spencer you’re cold...” you checked his eyes, and the pupils were so big you could not see the warm brown color, his pulse was slow. Shit. The clear signs of overdose were there, you tried not to panic.  
He started to shake a little as you thought of what to do. You could not call Hotch or someone else, you didn’t know if they knew about Spencer drug use and you definitely didn’t wanna be the one to tell them. 

“Shit Spencer, I gotta get you outta here” you stood up, dragging him with you. 

Spencer’s arm was around your neck and you were holding him by the waist. Anyone who saw the two of you would say you were a happy couple or something of that matter. Luckily, by the time you got out of the bathroom, just a few people were outside and you managed to get to one empty service elevator, hitting the garage button fast. 

“Don’t you die on me, Reid” you murmured, sitting him half-conscious on your car. “Don’t you fucking dare to die on me”

 

 

The way to your house was fast and tense, you kept checking his pulse and holding his hand as your phone started to ring innumerous times from the BAU, you were already one hour late. You turn it off and shove it you’re your purse.  
Spencer didn’t open his eyes when you get into the building. You managed to drag him into your apartment and into the bathtub.

 

“I’m sorry Spence” murmured as practically threw him there since you could not let go of him in a better way “Fuck!” his pulse gone “fuck fuck fuck!!!” you stated to hit his chest trying to make his heart come back full function “COME ON SPENCER, YOU ARE STRONGER THAN THIS” you performed the best CPR you could at the current situation, until on the fourth time Spencer cough and you knew he’d throw up.   
You held his head and hair outside the bathtub; with a smile on your face.

 

“Welcome back, sweet prince” you never thought you’d be so happy to see someone throw up at your bathroom floor.

“What?” his voice was husky and low, due the vomit and everything as he tried to get up

“Shh, don’t get up, you’re still too weak.” He looked at you with confused puppy eyes as you pushed his hair back again “I got you, you’re okay. We are at my place.” 

You two stayed in silence for a while, Reid breathing heavily as you stroke his hair, trying to calm him down. 

“You know, don’t you?” he finally asked, fear in his voice.

“I do, and it’s okay.” He looked up to you, taking his head out of your lap “We all have our demons”

“You told me that before...” his brown eyes were confused, as he was trying to understand where you were going with this. You barely knew each other.

 

“Yes, I guess we have a lot to talk, Mr. Doctor. But now, do you think you can take a shower? You’d feel better...” he nodded slowly and got up with your help. “Fine, I’ll get you some clothes that might fit while we wash those, be right back”. 

 

You ran back into your room getting some big clothes and something to clean the bathroom floor. As you came back Spencer was shirtless and you swallowed a gasp, wasn’t he pretty? 

“Sorry... the clothes...” you left them on the sink and start cleaning the floor, trying not to look up, who knew Spencer was this cute without clothes on? “They are from an ex-boyfriend, so they might fit you” you said finally getting up and looking at him, who was looking directly at you. 

“Thank you” his voice was still a low tone, still a little husky and you just nodded trying not to do something stupid. The long hair, the paleness, the addiction, the trainwreck, it was your favorite highway to disaster. 

“I’ll be in the living room when you get out. Call me if you need me, sweet prince” the words you said just hit you after you left the bathroom. Shit.


	3. Present, Past and Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> enjoy the smut and the character's past.
> 
> also, party with the BAU coming (party Reid? YAS!)

You put some music on and went to the kitchen making some hot chocolate to the guest. 

“I wouldn’t take you for an indie music fan” a voice behind you said and a smirk left your lips, that was true considering my looks.

“I wouldn’t take you for a junkie,” you put the mug in his hand “it does make you even hotter” you winked, still with a smirk, and guided him back to the living room with you. Spencer looked at you something in between hurt and confused. 

“I’m not a junkie!” he protested as you took a sip of you mug, sitting on the couch on his side. 

“Sure, take your chocolate; it’ll make you feel better.” He did as told and you two stayed in silence for a couple of minutes. You could almost hear his heartbeat, nervous about you knowing his dirty little secret.

You suddenly got up and put your mug on the coffee table, taking off your t-shirt. Reid seemed to gasp and looked away.

“Look at me, look at my scars” you turn his face to you with one hand, your arms and body full of scars. Some of needles, some of blades. They mixed up pretty well with the ink, but still noticeable.

“You... you too are...” the genius seemed for once lost for words and you agreed slowly, sitting on the coffee table in front of him. Eyes locked on his, the pain was visible on you both.

“Coke, heroin, acid... Delaudid, anything I could get my hands on basically...” a small sad laugh left your lips “and blades, oh the blades” your eyes closed almost in ecstasy and you felt Spencer fingertips on your arm, on your scars. It was soft. His hands were trembling, soft and warm. 

“How did you get clean?” There was pain and need in his voice and I couldn’t help but get sad

“I didn’t” he seemed more and more confused “I’m sorry if you though I could help you, sweet prince, I can’t, I am a mess myself” you were fighting the tears in your eyes now, those damn warm brown eyes of him still staring at your soul.

“Why do you call me that?” there was a small smirk on his face as your turned a shade of red, you and your stupid nicknames. 

“it’s nothing... it’s just from a song” you tried not to look into his eyes and saw his smile getting bigger as you got redder. 

“I thought you didn’t like me” Reid said and you denied with a head shake, of course not “that day you first met the team, when I asked about the data...” you got serious once again and breathe deeply. Reid could notice the tension building up “...sorry”

“Do you really wanna know?” Reid noticed your pain and doubted a bit, but nodded his head as he bit his lips. You had to focus again on your train of thought after seeing that.

“Okay, since I know your secret it’s pretty fair you know mine...” You got up and walked around a bit until you stopped in front of him, looking into his eyes, taking one deep breath “I killed my boyfriend” Spencer laughed for a second, probably thinking it was a joke like you did on the first day. It was not. 

“So that’s why you went to jail?” he finally asked as you denied

“The hacking and erasing data thing is true...what I erased was his information. He basically never existed and no one can prove otherwise. He had no family, lived alone. He was a monster” Reid could easily see the anger on your voice, as you scratched your legs leaving small scars. He held your hands to stop you hurt yourself.

“What did he do?” his voice was low and calming, you felt safe.

“We were happy for a while, I had dreams...but he was...he was insane. I could not go out without him, or talk to anyone he didn’t know, fuck, I couldn’t have a life!” you felt tears storming down and the pain in Reid’s eyes made it all more difficult. “And then it started. He would hit me, and he was a big guy, just like Morgan. And he would lock me in the house and leave me alone for days and drug me and...” you tried to not cringe at the memory “... and he would... use me, rape me when I was drugged. Well, I guess at least I was drugged and I could not feel a thing.” A sad laugh left your lips as Spencer hug you tight, one hand in your hair. You hugged him back, not holding the tears anymore. “He kept me there for almost 6 months, Reid, beating, using, and drugging me. I couldn’t take it, I couldn’t...” you looked him in the eyes and he wiped some tears off your cheeks “... so I had a chance, one single chance. And I mixed his fix of heroin with the purest shit. Boom, I watched he overdose and die at my feet and I smiled, I laughed. I was glad that motherfucker died at my feet” Spencer was the first person you ever told this, you felt good and horrible at the same time. “and I kicked him until he was dead as one can be, and stole everything I could and never came back” You couldn’t look him in the eyes anymore, you just felt unclean and horrible.

Spencer hugged you again and you cried until you could calm down, feeling your heart beat next to his.

“You saved me” he murmured at your ear “you saved me (Y/N), you’re a good person. You could have called Hotch or anyone and told them, you could have left me there. It was not your responsibility. And you choose to save me” you looked back into his eyes. There was a universe inside those eyes, you got lost on that warm brown tone. 

“Stop me before I do something stupid” you murmured to yourself, Reid just licked his lips, biting them next. Fuck, those lips!

Before you knew your lips met on a hunger you could not explain, Soon you were over Spencer on the couch, legs on each one of his sides, straddling on his lap as you hold his face between your hands and kissed him like you needed that kiss to live, like it was your salvation.   
Spencer held you close to him, embracing your body with his warm hands, running them up and down your back and legs. Your mouth moved from his lips to his jawline and to his neck. Neither of you were sure of what was happening, but it felt so good. He started moaning softly as you nipped a soft spot and you couldn’t help but chuckle, he was so, so pretty.  
You could feel yourself getting hotter and well…wetter, as you felt Reid’s body response to yours. A small moan left your lips when he thrust lightly, scratching your back as you left a bite on his collarbone.

“(Y/N)… we shouldn’t…” Spencer’s breath was uneasy and heavy as you look at him right in the eyes.   
“Don’t you want it?” because hell knows you wanted it. He looked confused for a second then lean over to reach your lips again, furiously and greedy. 

The kiss was just broken so you could take Reid’s shirt off, tossing it somewhere in your living room, exploring his chest with your hands, feeling his heavy breathing. Your hands worked its way down to his pants, feeling his already hard member as you went down on my knees before him

“(Y-Y/N)…” He gasped between heavy breaths and you chuckled, he was so precious could eat him up. 

“Shh.. It’s alright” you tranquilized him and he nodded, moaning louder when he felt your lips on the tip of his erection. His hands went from the couch to your hair and you lick the whole length of his manhood before taking it in your mouth, getting another moan and cry from Spencer open lips.  
His moans and cries were enough to make you go insane with that pretty face, you rubbed you thighs together for some friction as you went up and down, working on his member. You felt his pre-cum on you throat as he hold your chin up, trying to focus.

“I wan…I want to feel you” he whispered and you agreed, hell knows how much you wanted him, now.   
You got on you feet taking off the rest of your clothing off and getting on his lap again, he holding you on your lower back and planting kisses on your neck and collarbone going to your bare breasts.   
You both moaned as you felt his member getting into you and taking some time to adjust to his size, but as soon as both were comfortable you start to move slowly at the beginning only to get faster and harder, hitting hips with Reid as he nipped and bite your nipple making you scream in pleasure, feeling the knot in your lower stomach. You gasped as his fingers reached down your clit, starting fast, subtle, circular motions as you both reached a paced rhythm on your thrusts, he finding a sweet spot inside you and you arched your back in pleasure.

“Are you okay? ” He lowered the rhythm and his voice was soft, low or your earlobe. He was truly worried. Oh my;   
“Fuck, Spencer. Don’t stop now, don’t you fucking dare…” you managed to look straight on his eyes, as blurry as your vision was from all the pleasure.

The sweat on his angelical face, his body next to yours, the pleasure of being complete with him, his kisses and moans of your name. It was all too much and you felt yourself over the edge, screaming his name. Spencer held you closer to his body as the waves of ecstasy hit you, not too long after you felt him starting to tremble under your as his nails scratch your back and he bit your shoulder holding a scream of your name. You smiled looking at him. He was truly beautiful, this was the most beautiful you had seem him until now.

He kissed you slowly when you both came down from your highs and started laughing. You looked at him confused, as you get off of the top of him and lay down on his side.

“What’s so funny, sweet prince?” you truly could spend hours looking at him, all his features were perfectly designed. His now messy hair, his jawbone, the way he moved…   
“Nothing…just” his smile got bigger and he blushed, really red. You couldn’t help but smile as well “I never had a girl scream my name during…. You know… this activities, before” it was just too cute for you to handle, you had to ruffle his hair and throw himself over him on a hug kissing his neck softly

“You’re too precious for words, Spence” you could hear his smile as his fingers draw circles on your back.

Soon after you both cuddled on your couch, taking a well-deserved nap, while talking about everything and anything at all. Seeing Spencer speak as the light hit his eyes was truly a magical experience and you slept in peace, on his arms. You felt safe.

 

 

____________________

 

You woke up some hours later to Spice Girls blasting from your purse. Damn, you forgot your phone. Reid was still asleep and you quickly pick up the phone and sit on the couch as he whined, missing the body next to his

 

“what’s up penny lane?” I laughed as I picked up the phone, Garcia’s personal ID popped up the screen.

“Hey princess cake” I had to laugh harder at the nickname, really? “Is everything alright? You didn’t show up today. Hotch is pretty pissed since Reid disappeared as well...” damn, Hotch! I bit my lip as I tried to make up an excuse  
“Yeah, I went to the BAU but I was feeling unwell and Reid found me and helped me” Spencer now opened his eyes, as he heard his name on the conversation “yeah, low blood pressure and stuff, no no, I’m fine now, thanks to Reid, he drove me back home... yeah.” I looked at him, who made a funny face.

“Oh I’m sorry, princess, do you need something? ...anyway, if you’re feeling better, Halloween is just around the corner and there is this party tonight on a club I used to go on my Goth years... it’s pretty awesome actually. I was thinking maybe we could go and have fun outside the fighting-the-bad-guys world”  
“Sure, sure, I’ll see about that Pen, sounds super cool” you loved to party and sure wouldn’t mind one

“I tried to call Spencer too, Derek is going… and Emily. JJ is having a family night.”

“Oh, I’ll talk to him” Garcia made a surprise sound  
“Wait, is Reid there with you? What are you…”  
“So, I guess I’ll see you later Penny Lane, text me the place and time, love ya” and I hung up, looking up at Spencer again.

“We’re going at a party!” Spencer looked at me confused “c’mon, don’t be boring”

“I’m not really a party person (Y/N)” he whined but you kissed and pulled him out of the couch 

“Everyone from the BAU is going, don’t be boring. Help me pick up an outfit for me and one for you. Penelope told me is kind of a Halloween Goth party. I’m so excited!!” Reid made some other sounds as you sit him on your bed and started to pick up clothes from your closet, choosing some ripped black leather shorts and stockings with a band T-shirt and a leather jacket. 

You went to the bathroom for a quick shower and came back only with a towel, and panties, changing in front of him with no problem. Spencer blushed and you had to hold a laugh. 

“Y-you look nice” Spencer kept his eyes on the floor

“Thanks, pretty boy, but you can look you know…” he look up as you were getting his clothes “Now it’s your turn. This might fit.” You handed him some leather pants and plain black tight shirt.   
As he came back you had you hold your breath for a second, he looked way too hot for his own good. Goddamn, Reid.

“What? Is it bad?” he barely spoke and you pulled him down to a kiss, a harsh, hungry one. Your hand was on the back of his neck, messing with his long hair. It took him a second to understand what was happening, put his arms around you and hold you close to him. Spencer run his hands towards your body, grabbing your ass as your tongues intertwined exploring each other’s mouths. 

“You look too hot for your own good, boy” was all you could say as your mouth parted breathing heavily.  
“If it means you kissing me like this, well, I can surely live with that” he smirked, still holding you close to another kiss. You knew you had to get out of his arms or you wouldn’t get ready “Are you sure you want to go?” Reid whisper on your ear.  
“You are evil…” You hit his chest, laughing and going to the bathroom to fix your make up. Spencer came after you, still trying to steal your attention. You didn’t want to admit it, but he was pretty good at his bad intentions.


	4. Trick or Treat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a Halloween party, what could possibly go wrong?  
> Except you go a little insane from the booze and Reid is a little player, and you are a little bad bitch too.  
> Also, you two are cute.
> 
> (TW for some light BDSM, nothing much but yeah)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween my lovelies! I hope you have a great one! We don't really celebrate it here so i'm just staying home and re-watching The Crow for the 20th time and mourning over Brandon Lee.  
> That;s pretty much it, yeah.  
> Anyways, enjoy the chapter ^^
> 
> P.S.: the link to the songs I used on this chapter are:
> 
> Save a Prayer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZEL5mD1XEo (it's a version by a hardrock brazilian band, the lead singer is my personal friend and yeah, that voice)
> 
> on the smut scene i thought about HIM's Wicked Game https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilYV3xujDag 
> 
> (:

“I thought you would drive” Spencer said as you called a taxi, already by the door. By some crazy Halloween miracle he had let you put some eyeliner on him. Now the respectable geeky-cute Dr. Spencer Reid looked like a hot, hot rock star. Girl, you got lucky. 

“I wouldn’t risk it, we won’t get there sober, sweetie” you winked at him as you reached a box on your bookshelf and turned back to him. “Ready to dream?” 

Confusion on his eyes said all, he had never taken anything but the Delaudid. It made you stop for a second.  
“Okay Spence, you wanna try something new?” the piece of bright colorful paper was already under your tongue and the doubt on his eyes was obvious. He was afraid of his own mind.

The doorbell rang, indicating the taxi was already waiting, you reach the door with Spencer on your side. Well, at least one of you would be minimally sober for the night.

 

___________

 

The bar Garcia invited you was decorated for Halloween, some people were smoking outside and some girls kept one eye on Reid. Indeed he was hot as hell and you grabbed him by the neck, pushing him to the brick wall and giving him a single, visible hickey on the neck

 

“(Y/N)!!!” Reid laughed looking around for familiar faces as he pushed you away “someone can see us” he whispered  
“I’m just making sure certain people…” and now you remarkably looked at the women who once were staring at Reid “…see this” and pointed at the now purple hickey, giving him a quick kiss on the lips before going inside the back

Crowded as it was, it took some time 'til you found your friends, standing on a booth next to the bar. Penelope next to Morgan and Emily, who was on a tight short black dress, talking to some other guy you knew fore sure didn’t know she was from the FBI because he was talking how big bad of a street thug he was, like it would work on miss Emily Prentiss.

Garcia was wearing one of her Gothic dresses, a black leather corselet with a black and purple kind of ballet skirt. It was painfully cute on her. Derek Morgan was just big bad old Derek Morgan, playing around drinking beer and checking the girls but keeping an eye on Penelope.

“Hey you made it” Penelope smiled at the especially affectionate hug you gave her, already tripping on acid.  
“Yay!!” was all you managed to say before hugging Morgan and Emily and going to the bar “I’m getting whiskey, hey sweet prince, you drink whiskey?” the other three looked at you and then at Reid, almost laughing at the redness on his face, he agreed.

“So, Reid” Morgan put an arm on Reid’s shoulder, walking with him a little further into the crowd and away from the girls “you and (Y/N) didn’t show up today… now you show up here with her and this pretty recent hickey on your neck” Spencer tried his best to quickly hide it with his long hair, failing miserably, Morgan laughed pretty loud as Reid got himself out of his arm “go get her, pretty boy” 

“Your poison” You handed Reid his drink, your already halfway done on your second dose, your pupils the size of the moon “I wanna daaaaance” you whined, already moving your body, you could feel Spencer’s eyes on you and you had to grab more drinks trying to fight the urge to grab him.  
Penelope was talking to you about how hot Derek was, you weren’t really paying attention, to be honest. The acid hitting hard with the whisky you felt hot and agitated and you needed a distraction from Reid and from Reid lips, and eyes, and from his hand on the small of his back. Your heart was racing. 

A rock version of “Save a Prayer” started playing

“OMG! Let’s dance! I love this song so much” you tried to pull Spencer to dance but he refuses, laughing at your enthusiasm.  
“I don’t dance (Y/N)” you pouted and pulled Garcia, who happily agreed.

You felt Reid and Morgan’s eyes on both of you when your bodies came closer, on a more sensual way. You both already tipsy and laughing at the situation when a particular verse played and you looked straight into Reid’s eyes.

// so I asked you to dance  
But fear is in your soul  
Some people call it a one night stand  
But we can call it Paradise //

As you finished the lyrics you pulled Garcia by the waist and kissed her, she chuckled under your kiss and Morgan scream on disbelief. Penelope deepened the kiss, pulling you closer to her by your hips. As you parted she laughed at you.

“Let’s grab some drinks” you nodded, hugging her by the waist and walking down to the bar

“C’mon girls, what was that on the dance floor?” Morgan arms wrapped yours and Garcia’s shoulders as you got your drinks, you pour your down fast, asking for another double whisky.

“That was not for you big boy” you got away from his arms laughing and he hugged Penelope closer. Reid was nowhere to be seen and you went back to the dance floor by yourself, you didn’t want to think of Reid, you didn’t want to think of anything.

A few shots and some music later you saw Morgan and Garcia hooking up on a corner, good for them! You knew Penelope had feelings for him, and you knew that with just the right amount of alcohol things would go just fine. Emily was nowhere to be seen anymore, probably already left. 

 

On your way to the bar you saw something, but that… it could not be.  
There was Reid, and a girl. A tall, blonde, model type of girl, too close to Reid. And he was smiling with a bottle on his hand and lipstick on his face. You weren’t wearing lipstick. Her lipstick. That son of a mother.  
You knew, back of your head, that it wasn’t rational. You were nothing to each other but colleagues maybe fuck buddies and drug buddies from now on, but that’s all. Anyway, you felt a fire from within; maybe from all the booze, you truly hoped it was from all the booze and walked towards them.  
As you approached you only touched the girl shoulder and as she turned to you, you punched her on the face so hard you heard bones cracking. Not sure if yours of hers. As she fell down you pushed Spencer hard towards the wall.

“WHAT THE FUCK?” you screamed at him, still mad. You weren’t even yourself anymore as you felt someone pulling you by your hair and tossing you on the ground, the blond girl had managed to pull herself together and now was hitting and scratching your face. 

Lucky she didn’t know you carry a hidden blade on your boots, as you were able to reach it you showed it to her, touching her neck.  
“You touch me or that guy one more time, you plastic little bitch, and I’ll cut you open” the anger in your eyes were fire and she stopped. You felt Morgan arms around you to help you up and you put your blade on your boot again. The girl tried to go for you.  
“Don’t even think of it babe” Morgan warned her holding some space between the two of you. Penelope was by your side, trying to look at your injuries. 

Then there he was back at the wall, keeping his cool, the motherfucker. As you saw Reid with eyes on you all you did was run to him and start slapping and punching him on the arm and chest, not to really hurt him, but to relieve you anger.  
“I’m gonna fucking kill you, you bastard” Reid hold both your arms and look straight into your eyes, making you pout and feel like a 5 year old.

“She’s drunk and caused enough mess around, I’ll take her home” Spencer said to Derek and Penelope, who looked worried but agreed  
“Call me if you need anything” Garcia yelled as you left the bar, Reid holding you tight.

 

 

“LET GO OF ME” you screamed as you got out of the bar “you had no right to do this” you tried to pull yourself together, looking at him. The bastard was still more beautiful outside on the night lights.  
“And you had no right to treat my friend like that” you jaw opened and closed innumerous times on disbelief. Friend?  
“She wasn’t your friend… she was… she was… UUUUGHHHH” you started walking fast, away from him, who quickly reach you and hold you by the shoulders.  
“What is it? Are you jealous?” his smirk was making you even more furious at him, you wanted to slap him, and then kiss him, and then punch him and then fuck him. And that’s what you did.  
You slapped Spencer with all strength you could gather, he looked quite shocked at your attitude, but not more shocked than when you kissed him biting down his lip until the metallic taste reach your mouth. Spencer moaned.

“I’m gonna fuck you so hard I’ll make you forget your own name, Doctor Spencer Reid” you whisper by his earlobe, making a sign to a taxi and getting in. He followed you trying to hide a smile and a blush on his face.

 

_____________________

 

As you entered your apartment, Reid’s hands reached for your body. You just got away, pushing him away towards your bedroom until he fell down on your bed. His smile was full of evil intentions but he had no idea of what you had in mind.

“Ah-ah sweet prince, not touching for you” you walked away as he placed his hands on your hips. Reid just watched as you put some music and started to strip. He was biting his lips but you promised yourself he wouldn’t get the best of you tonight. You were to pissed with him.

Once you were only on your lingerie, you went to your closet getting a small bag and again to Spencer, taking his shirt off, still slow dancing.  
Again he tried to touch you, only to receive a slap on his hand. 

“I said no touching, Doctor Reid” he smirked at your voice tone, leaning to kiss you, who hold his face away “I’m gonna make you regret picking that girl from the bar, you’re my toy tonight”  
Saying so, you grabbed his wrists above his head, wrapping them with a silk black scarf. Reid smiled  
“You are evil, (Y/N)” as you pushed him down the bed and went on top of him.  
“Oh baby boy, you have no idea how wicked I can be” your voice was provocative on propose as you started straddling on him and leave small kisses on his chest and collarbone.

It didn’t take long until Spencer start moving under you, making small moan sounds and trying to free his hands to touch you. Your smile only getting bigger against his skin, which you’d leave a bite or hickey once in a while to hear him moan loudly, only to kiss the place afterwards carefully. You were giving him a lap dance, or some kind of it, and you could see on his eyes he was going insane from it, from not being able to touch you, his eyes full with desire. It was delicious to see the genius doctor Spencer Reid defenseless to you. 

“You want to kiss me, Spencer?” you asked, looking keep into his eyes “you want to touch me?” the last part was said into a low moan, as you slip your hand on your body, touching your breast and your wet core “oh baby, it feel so good…hmm” you lean down to almost kiss him, leaving out a small laugh as you open your bra and toss it on the other side of the room.

“(Y/N) …this is not fair. You kissed Garcia” he moaned as your hands reached his pants, working on taking them and his underwear out. You climbed your way up to his lap, feeling his erection on your thigh as you slapped his face.

“I say what’s fair here doctor, or you can go after your little bar whore” you said as you went back to straddling him, Reid closed his eyes and bit his lips 

“(Y/N)…please” he cried, you could feel yourself dripping wet from desire too and you started touching yourself on his lap, making small, precise circle movements on your clit as you went up and down on his abdomen, moaning

“Look at me, Spencer” you breathed out, grabbing his hands and putting in between your legs, he moaned louder, feeling your warm wetness as you pleasured yourself “do you wanna fuck me, Spencer?” you said under you breath. He cried an affirmative answer and you chuckled “You should go fuck your little bar whores” and saying that you grabbed his arms, putting them above his head again with a deep kiss in which he bit your lip. You felt the blood on your mouth and smirk. Oh well. 

Looking into those pleasure-filled brown eyes you scratch his chest, deep enough to bleed, Spencer let out a scream. All of this while letting his member goes totally inside you. You start moving slowly, almost not moving at all, enjoying yourself on Spencer’s faces as you licked his bleeding chest, biting his nipples

What you didn’t count on was: Spencer Reid is FBI. He can free himself.  
Before you could notice you were tossed around back on the bed, he was on the top of you, big smile on his face.  
“Ok, enough of your games, psycho” you could see he was not really mad, but he put you on all fours on the bed and grab a fist full of your hair, starting to thrust really hard inside you. Smacking your ass with the free hand  
“This was for the slaps” he said, thrusting deeper, you moaned louder. The pain and pleasure was your favorite combo.  
“This was for the scene at the bar” the smacked again, thrusting again and pulling your hair at the same time. He noticed you liked it.  
“And this is for scratching me” he grabbed your ass harder and you were sure there would be a giant mark there later and started to angrily fuck you. You were both moaning and screaming out loud when you felt yourself coming closer to the edge 

“Spenc…” he tossed you on your back holding you up close to him, reaching you deeper.  
“I want to look into your eyes” he breath out” and you nodded, a few more movements from him and you felt yourself collapse on your orgasm.  
“Spencer. Oh my... Spenc...” you cried looking deep into his eyes, as he requested. It seems to only make your pleasure last longer. He didn’t take long, as he felt your walls tightening around him, to reach his pleasure.  
Spencer cried out your name, pulling his head back so you could reach his neck, on wet kissed as he came down his high with you.

 

You both lied on the bed, exhausted and laughed.  
“Wow” was all Spencer said, looking into your eyes. You turned to your side to face him

“I know” you laughed more and kissed his lips softly “we need a shower, there’s blood and sweat and god knows what more on both of us” Spencer made a funny face as you got up the bed, pulling him with you to the bathroom.

“You’re kind of dangerous you know that? ...”

“Don’t you analyze me, Spencer Reid” you turn fast to him, knowing it would soon come some statistic about how percent of people like bdsm

“I was about to say I like that” he hugged you from behind on the shower, planting kisses on your collarbone.

As you left the shower none of you was feeling sleepy, it was still night and there was some hours ‘til you had to go to the BAU. Spencer went to the kitchen after something to eat, you didn’t want to admit but you were starving too. Sitting on the couch, you were passing the options on Netflix as Reid jumped on your side with a container of Ben & Jerry’s Cookie Dough Ice Cream and two spoons. You looked at him the most seriously you could on the eyes.

“Doctor Who and Ice Cream?” he nodded, smiling as big as a child already stuffing his face with the cold desert. As you hi-fived each other.

 

 

______________

 

The ice cream was over and a couple of episodes passed by, you were lying on Spencer’s chest. He was sleeping soundly, holding onto you, but you could not close your eyes. You keep looking at him until the light of the morning dawn came through the windows and gave him that unnatural beauty, and kissed that face, those lips that were yours to take… He was so precious like this you could literally cry tears of joy and emotion over his beauty and praise him. He frowned his forehead, pulling you closer and smiling to you.

“Good Morning, love.” He said on that low, husky tone.

Heaven help you, you were falling in love with Spencer Reid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay i hope you liked this super duper long chapter!  
> Leave kudos, comments or msg me if you have any ideas ^^
> 
> Brace yourselves, THE FLUFF IS COMING.


	5. Bloodstream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things start getting a little more complicated after the Halloween party, and you are not so sure what you're getting yourself into anymore. It's like another addiction.

The drive to the BAU was quiet, except for the songs on my iPod and one question that keep popping on your head.

 

~ Flashback ~

 

You were fixing your hair on a messy bun and Spencer was fixing his tie from the OD day, his clothes had stayed over. Then he just split it out, making you freeze  
“Hm… (Y/N)… would you like to go on a proper date with me sometime?” he looked at you through the mirror, your eyes widened and you tried to keep you jaw closed, what was that?  
You quickly turn your back to him, grabbing your purse and going to the door 

“We’re gonna be late, sweet prince” damn that time spent on lazy cuddles and kisses. Spencer quickly follows. You could tell he was disappointed at your silence to say the least, but you just didn’t know how to respond to that question. Not with all that was going inside your head.

 

~ end of flashback ~ 

 

 

“This song is absolutely you” Reid smiled, as Rebel Girl by Bikini Kill started playing. “You know it’s your caller tone on everyone’s phone at the BAU right?” I looked at him on a glance, laughing, really?

“Do they know I prefer David Bowie?” he agreed pointing at my visible Bowie tattoo on my arm “But yeah, I love that song” I entered the BAU parking lot finally relaxing, at least here Spencer wouldn’t be able to get an answer out of me right away and I would be able to think. 

 

 

As Reid was going to the elevators I went to the opposite direction, he made a weird face.

“I’m gonna get some coffee down the street, we left together last night, if they see us coming together they gonna talk…do you want something?” he agreed, giving his shoulders and coming a little closer to me “Okay I’ll bring you a coffee, extra sugar and nice”

“I thought it was supposed to be spice…” he said laughing, looking around to check the parking lot for other people. No one.

“I’m all the spice you need, babe” I winked at him and kissed him quickly, leaving him standing there, in the middle of the parking lot. 

Spencer Reid was incredible cute, and lovely, and perfect in every way. The sex was awesome, he was a gentleman and that, yes, scared that living hell out of me.

 

____________________

 

I stormed into the BAU floor with everyone’s coffee’s shouting Good Morning’s 

“Morgan, your coffee” I left at his table “black, hot, low sugar” he winked at me  
“Just like yours truly, my precious creature of the night” you blew him a kiss and handed JJ her

“Your cappuccino, my sweet queen of the quarters” she smiled sweetly at you, running to the other side.

“Your coffee, extra sugar and vanilla” you lean over Reid’s table and left a package “and a blueberry muffin…I figured you would be hungry” he smiled at you, caressing your hand softly taking the paper package under the table “Have a good day” you whispered before going towards yours and Garcia’s office a.k.a. the batcave.

 

Inside the muffin paper bag you had the guts to write a paper note that said 

“I really like you, <3” 

Spencer couldn’t help but smile reading the small paper, keeping it inside his pocket and grabbing the muffin.

 

____________

 

“TELL ME EVERYTHING!!!” Garcia shouted as you opened the door, making you close your eyes and frown, the slightest signs of hungover starting to show. You handed her Pumpkin Spice Latte and her Chocolate Chip Muffin 

“There’s nothing to tell Penny” you said grabbing your own coffee. She looked at what you gave her and at you “Except you’re a really good kisser” you smirked at her

“Oh I love you girl, but you are not buying me with breakfast OR compliments” She put it aside to come closer to you “What happened between you and boy wonder last night?” her eyes were begging for news and you truly wanted to share it all with someone. Penelope was your best friend on this new, crazy town, but you just couldn’t’. Not yet.

“Nothing Penny, I got too drunk, I drop acid, and it went bad. Reid got me home. We watched Doctor Who and had Ice Cream” It was true after all.

“You dropped acid” I agreed with my head “You almost KILL a girl who was flirting with Reid because you were on a bad acid trip?” 

“I didn’t kill anyone” threatened maybe… kick her ass for sure, but she’s alive. Penelope kept staring at me like she was expecting me to break or something when Hotch knocked on the door.

“Conference room in ten” we agreed and Penelope filled me with the information I had missed on the day I missed work.

 

 

You could feel Morgan’s eyes on you as you entered the room and sit on the opposite side of Spencer, right next to Penelope. He was hiding a smirk that died as Hotch entered the room with more papers and started talking about some serial killer on the loose somewhere in Colorado. It was a years-long case and still we didn’t have enough information. 

They spent hours talking about the case on that small room, you and Garcia were sent back to your room to work on more information.

You left the building it was already past 8 p.m. to go home and pack, they would only go on the next day morning and you were supposed to go with them. There was the original idea, having a tech on the field and one back in Quantico, since you were alright with blood and all the shaniganigans of the job, you were the lucky one.

 

______________________________

 

It was close to midnight and you were already on bed when your phone rang, Spencer ID. Your heart skipped a beat as you picked it up

“(Y/N)…hey…did I wake you up?” his soft voice sound concerned and you denied “Good, look, I didn’t mean to disturb you or anything but…I can’t sleep and we have this case we’re getting over tomorrow and…” he was rambling so much It made you almost laugh  
“Spence, is this a booty call?” did he want to hook up and do not know how to ask?  
“No no no” he replied, on a hurry. Now you were laughing out loud and could see his almost see his deep red face, poor pretty little thing. ”I don’t want sex, you nymphomaniac little freak” he laughed at last.  
“Theeeen….”  
“I was wondering if you had any… if you had any Delaudid with you?” His voice was almost apologetic and you bit your lip. No you didn’t have what he wanted, but you had better.  
“Love, how do you feel about trying the real stuff?” you jump out of the bed, throwing your stuff around, looking for an old cigar box made of silver. There were some small packs of powder inside it. Heroin  
“Did you just call me love?” There was a smile on his voice. You did. Ignore it, Reid.  
“Come over, bring the stuff” And you hung up, starting to sort of what you would need to make your sweet prince go off well on this.

 

Half an hour later Spencer was at your apartment, you opened the door pulling him by the hand.

“You took forever!” and smiled as he grabbed you by the waist for a kiss “c’mon let’s go to the room”  
“What are you planning, (Y/N)?” he sat on your bed as you grab the spoon and the lighter and everything you needed  
“So… you know Delaudid is known as pharmaceutical heroin right?” he agreed and you picked up the pack with the powder “what would you feel about trying real heroin for once?” you bit your lip looking at him “I’ll do it with you I swear”  
“Okay” he said it, just like that. You had to hold you jaw closed  
“What?”  
“What what?” he laughed, leaning over to kiss you “let’s do it, listen, I need something. It’s what you got. I trust you (Y/N). I want to do this with you” he held your hand, intertwined your fingers together and bringing yours to his mouth, planting little kisses as he kept his eyes locked on yours. You had to refocus on what you were about to do.

You roll over Spencer’s sleeve and found his vein, and he did the same for you; then you prepared the drug for both of you and look straight deep into his eyes. You could easily tell he was nervous but he agreed with a head sign and you shoot the substance to his bloodstream.  
Spencer let his head fall back for a second and fell completely on the bed afterwards. You wanted to watch this, all his beautiful features on the complete ecstasy. He kept his eyes closed for some time, enjoying all the sensations.  
You shoot your own dose precisely and joined him. You always loved heroin. It was like a thousand orgasms all at once, it fucked with your mind on the best possible way. 

 

As you lied down on Spencer side as he hugged you, tracing his fingertips down on your face and neck. You were looking deep into his blurred eyes as you felt your own eyes getting heavier with tears.

“Please don’t go” you whispered as a secret, he pulled you even closer, barely even air could pass through you now, your lips almost touching as you speak. “Please don’t leave me, Spencer”  
He kissed you in response, looking into your eyes, as his hands when up and down your back on designs his genius minds had created just for you.  
“I’m in love with you.” You said, finally. Closing your eyes. “I love you, Spencer Reid. And I know you could never, ever, on a sober state, on a normal day, love a trainwreck like me. And that’s why I can’t say yes to your first date, because I can’t stand the thought of losing you” now the tears where storming down your face and Spencer had his eyes frozen on you, in shock.

You kept silent for minutes, looking into his eyes, feeling his hands on your body, feeling the effects of the drug on your bloodstream until Spencer closed his eyes, asleep. When you finally turn over to sleep, getting comfortable on his chest and pulling a fluffy blanket over your body, you felt his embrace turn tighter, and a kiss on the top of your head.  
“I love you, (Y/N)” you looked at him, looking at you.  
“what?”  
“That’s it. You said it, I said it. You own me a date. Good night” and he went back to sleep. You kept there, frozen by his words, when you were able to process anything in your mind he was already sleeping soundly once again.  
Sleep, that was definitely something you wouldn’t be able to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I took so long to update lovelies! I got sick and work it killing me. I got the next chapter already started and things start getting really rad.  
> Feel free to talk to me anytime


	6. What's really going on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seems like it's getting pretty obvious you and boy wonder are messing around.   
> Super friend Morgan to the rescue and super feels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg im so sorry i left this aside for a while!  
> I'm so busy at college and moving and uuuugh, all the stress.   
> Still, now I'm home and I'm pretty sure I'll be able to finish the last 2/3 chapters by the weekend :D   
> sorry again

4 A.M.

4 fucking A.M. and you were on a plane to fucking Colorado.  
You wanted to kill that serial killer.

 

You had your headphones on blasting some loud tunes and expecting no one would talk to you, specially Reid. Specially after last night’s episode. You used the excuse to be too sleepy to talk on your way to the airplane and easily avoided him. Now, he was playing chess with Gideon while you tried to shut your thoughts on how perfect he was and the fact that he said those words to you.  
He was high on smack, you kept repeating on your head, that was not real; but you know you wanted to believe it. You truly wanted it. 

Before you could notice, Morgan was by your side, sitting there without asking for a permission. You just smiled at him, looking back to the dark outside.

 

“So…” he started, putting his arm around your shoulder and holding a laugher on the back on his throat, here we go… “I understand you and pretty boy have something going on… wanna talk about it, my lady?” you look up at him, putting down your headphones.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Derek…” he removed his hand from my shoulder, his smirk wider

“Oh of course you don’t, and you don’t know about ice cream and Doctor Who…” _that could easily have been Garcia, he’s playing you (y/n)_ “or those pretty recent deep scratches on his chest” your eyes widened, _how did he, he couldn’t …_ “Spencer told me he’s pretty into you, but he doesn’t know what to do” Derek now told you with a serious face, didn’t keep it for too long “… the marks I saw, you know I could figure you’d like this kind of kinky stuff but Spencer… wow” you couldn’t help but hit his torso, bursting into laughter ‘til everyone on the airplane was looking at both of you. You apologize and kept talking to Derek on a low voice.

“I don’t know Morgan, my life is just… it’s just too messed up to bring someone in it.” You confessed, Derek held your hand softly, like a brother.  
“And you figure it out maybe a boy with a IQ of 187 can help you with that?” you smiled softly  
“I don’t wanna hurt him, I just… he’s so precious” now you just didn’t fear looking pathetically in love anymore. Derek smiled even more and you two were cut by the warning you would be landing soon. Your eyes met Spencer’s and you noticed he was watching your talk with Derek, how long was he watching?

 

You smiled at him anyway, a real smile that reached up to your eyes. You could say it got him by surprise when he stopped for a second before smiling back at you.

 

Everyone went to the Police Department and did what had to be done, you honestly still didn’t know much about this part of the job, you just did as told.   
Hotch called it a day very late that night, knowing no one (well, maybe except you) would actually sleep. 

 

The Hotel room was basic, like all the others. You took a shower and opened your laptop, checking for any messages from Garcia. None.   
The profile from the serial killer was already out there and you could be called at any minute now. You turned on the TV, nothing. Checked some online stuff, nothing. Derek words on your head. Spencer words on your head. 

_That’s it. I’m gonna talk to him._

You walked out of your door so sure of your decision it didn’t even look like the girl who was trembeling when knocked at Reid’s door and as he took a while your courage dismissed within you. Who quickly turn away _he’ll think it’s just a prank_.   
You tried to reach your room but it was too late. He opened the door, with tired eyes and wet hair. 

“(Y/N)?” his voice was not sure, and you turned your heel and walked back to him, furiously red.  
“Hi... Spence…” feet was never so interesting! “So… long day uh?” _Kill me now_  
“I guess…” he noticed you were trying not to cry “what happened (Y/N)? Do you want to come in?” He opened the spece on the door so you walked in, sitting on the edge of the bed. Reid sat up on the bed and gestured for you to come by his side as you crawled to him, hiding your face on his chest.

“I’m afraid” you admitted after minutes of dead silence, he took a heavy breath, stroking your hair.  
“(Y/N), we’ve done this a thousand times, nothing bad is going to happen”   
“I’m not talking about this, Reid” You turn around, facing him “I’m afraid of what I feel for you…” the last part was barely audible, as you bit your lower lip

“I’m sorry…” his tone was the same, and he caressed your hand, you felt like there was more coming “I saw you talking to Morgan, and I can imagine what was that about…” you narrowed your eyes to him “I’m sorry about this too, I just, I don’t know what to do” you knew that was about you and just let he take the weight out of his chest. _Let it out, Reid_

You sit straight in front of him, eyes wide, looking straight at him, waiting. He looked like he was organizing the words on his perfect mind.

“First of all: you look like you couldn’t care less about me, then you save my life” like any decent person would, you added in your mind “then there’s …this” he gestured to both on you on the bed “the amazing sex, the drugs, then you kiss Garcia… okay, I though ‘oh that was just a one night stand thing okay’ then there you were you attacking girls because of me, and we cuddling and watching Doctor Who” he was laughing like he couldn’t believe this was really his life 

“Spencer, I…” you tried to speak but he closed his eyes and gestured for you to be quiet.

“Then, then you said you’re in love with me. YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME” He raised his voice, you noticed there was tears on the corner of his eyes from stress.

“I DO. I FUCKING LOVE YOU, YOU PERFECT IDIOT” you shouted back and stood up on the bed, only to be pulled down by him, falling on your back on the fluffy bed, your heart racing. Spencer was on top of you, looking deep inside your eyes. 

“Then why can’t you just say yes to a simple first date?” he almost whispered, trying to look for an answer on your eyes as you bit your lips, the distance between you two becoming smaller by the second.

“I can’t risk fucking it all up, I can’t risk losing the most precious thing I’ve ever had…” breathing was hard and your vision was blurred from tears. You could feel one thumb on your cheek, softly weeping them away. Spencer’s eyes locked on yours. “Spence, I couldn’t risk losing you” the words finally came out as his lips collide with your on a kiss. This kiss was different from the other ones, it was not heated, or playful or even greedy. It was calm, loving, like he was trying to tell you he was there, with you. 

Spencer held you on a sweet embrace, not too harsh and not too soft, his kisses were endless and you felt the knots of your fingers going numb from holding tigh onto his t-shirt.

 

The moment was ruined by a knock on the door, Morgan was calling everybody, apparently they had another body from the serial killer they were after and everyone were expected on the PD. _I’m so gonna kill this serial killer_


	7. Deaths and Hospital Beds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of feels and fluffy fluffs and proper closure between you and boy wonder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some parts of this chapter seems hurried and all around because i didn't know how to write it, but I hope you like it ^^

The team went to the crime scene, except for you, of course. You stayed on the Police Station, on your computer, hacking every bit of new information you could possibly gather and talking to Garcia while doing so.

“So how are you and the boy genius?” she texted you. You just couldn’t believe it. The whole team was on field, there was a fucking serial killer on the loose and she was texting you about Reid.

“First, we are not. Second, find the information I asked you.” You replied

“Ouch, okay if you don’t wanna tell your best friend…” the information you asked popped up on your computer screen. 

“Love you, Goddess. Now I’m back to work” you left your phone on the table and went back to translate some binary code system message that has been found with the last body. 

Hours later. your phone start ringing again, but this time it’s Hotch. You pick up, eyes still locked on the computer screen.

“Yes?” your fingers were fast on the keyboard, cracking the coded message.   
“(Y/L/N) we might need you here.” Hotch’s voice was hesitant for a second, it made you stop everything and pay attention to it.   
“What’s going on, Sir?” your laptop was already closed and you were picking up your stuff  
“There’s lot’s of computers and an AI security system and Morgan is not sure he can hack it all by himself, a car is bringing you to the scene as soon as you’re ready” you agreed and hung up the call, 

 

Half an hour later you were on the crime scene. It was in the middle of nowhere, a large, abandoned place that could easily have been a factory on the past. You ran inside, meeting your team in front of multiple screens, everyone with worried faces, everyone except one. Spencer wasn’t on the room, but you could see him.

You felt your stomach turn upside down when you saw, on the screen, the body on the cold floor. Covered in blood.   
“What happened?” your voice was barely more than a whisper, Morgan turned to give you a quick hug. “Is he??”  
“We don’t know yet, babygirl” Derek assured you, as he pulled a chair for you to sit on the computer  
“Reid found this place, we were east, where the body was and he was looking around. The guy might have caught him off guard, Reid is a good agent” JJ was trying to tranquilize you, seeing you were in shock.  
“Doctor… he’s a … doctor” JJ chuckled silently at you correcting her and Hotch cut it.   
“Our unsub is there, these doors are locked through some kind of artificial intelligence security, and it’s on these computers, we’re sure of it. We need you and Garcia to hack it” Hotch was serious and you were trying your best not to break down, opening your laptop. Derek was calling Garcia and putting her up to the newest events. 

You weren’t sure how much time has passed ‘til you saw Reid getting up. Part of you relieved he was alive, the other screaming inside when you saw the unsub showing up on the screen and pulling him up by the hair and making him stand. You only noticed tears storming down your face because Morgan asked if you were alright to keep going, the locks to the room were encrypted on some crazy way nor you or Garcia were familiar with. You agreed with a head nod but swallow a scream when the unsub beat Spencer down again, they were talking and talking. Or at least it looks like the unsub was talking.   
Spencer now had his wrists chained to some pipes and was barely touching the floor with his feet.

“(Y/N), we’ll take him out of there” Morgan assured as he saw you could not fight your tears and stormed out of the place, with the excuse of a cigarette break.

“(Y/N)…” Morgan had his hand on your shoulder now “I know you care about Reid, we all do. Boy’s been through a lot here. We’re gonna take him out of there and he’ll be just fine and you guys can figure this thing you have…” you lift your now red and puffy eyes to Morgan, trying your best to be confident, but failing hard.

“It’s my fault, you know” you tossed what’s left of the cigarette on the ground “I know it is, it’s always my fault” Morgan now looked confused at you “I always hurt people I love, it’s my thing… karma I guess”

“It’s not your fault (Y/N)” you could feel a strong hug coming from Derek, heaven knows you really needed it so you wouldn’t break down completely “There’s too many messed up people in this world, love shouldn’t be a reason of guilt.” He looked down at you with a half smile “it’s good to see you finally getting to terms with pretty boy, he really likes you”

“Yeah, and now he’s being tortured by some psycho and I can’t do nothing…” you felt you would cry again but tried your best not to. Hotch was calling Morgan.

“We need you, Reid needs you. Let’s go back inside. I’m sure he’s counting on you to help him. I’m sure he loves you too, babygirl” saying so, Morgan walked away. It took me another minute so I walked inside too, going back to the computers and trying to keep my focus away from the image of a Spencer in pain right in front of me.

__________________

 

Ten hours passed by and nor you or Garcia could find a way to break the unsub security. Hotch had already talked to everyone he knew and you were beyond frustrated with the whole situation.

 

“That’s it, we’re making a deal” Hotch got up, they had found a way to communicate with the unsub through microphones on the room, which was good, but on the other hand also meant we could now hear Reid. I could hear Reid as the unsub tortured him.

“You can let him go free for this, Sir” Morgan held Hotch shoulder for a second, letting go of him as soon as he realized what he had done. “What about Reid?”

“Right now I am thinking about getting Dr. Reid out of there alive” Hotch was not friendly at all and the pain on your chest increased as you saw Spencer could not keep his eyes open anymore.

You were not part of the deal making, but as far as you understood, the unsub agreed on letting Reid free as long as he could go free as well, and get some crazy amount of money. Hotch agreed, playing his game for what it looks like, since he was writing something down to Morgan.

 

More three hours passed until all was settled for the unsub to release Reid. You felt like you would pass out at any minute from the stress.   
Then that was it, the crazy door was open, the paramedics got in, Morgan, JJ and some of the CSI got in. Everything was in slow motion. Reid was still a hostage and now you could see a gun pointed to his head, why?

“Where is the money?” the unsub asked, nervously. It was obvious Hotch plan didn’t work as he thought. And we couldn’t have elite snippers because it was a no-windows room. 

“Calm down, Dr. Reid needs medical assistance. We will give you…” Hotch was trying to calm the unsub but he only got more and more nervous and was on the edge of shooting. Reid eyes met yours. 

You were behind all of them, so the unsub hadn’t seen you yet – you never thought you’d be so thankful for being short. His eyes filled with pain, a different kind of pain now, a type of pain you couldn’t bare. You had failed on saving him. You had to save him. 

Before you could understand what was happening, it had already happened. You got a CSI’s agent gun and shot the unsub. He was as tall as Reid but slightly bigger. It was a shot on the shoulder of the arm holding the gun, and you heard the sound of a body hitting the floor, he had let go of Reid, pushing him down. After that you kept going, emptying the whole case of ammunition on the unsub’s chest, without even blink. It was so fast and insane your co-workers and the CSI only realized what happened for real when it was already done. You felt Morgan holding you down and taking the gun out of your hand. Paramedics were already taking Reid out of there but you could see his eyes looking for you. 

“Shit girl…” Morgan whispered, looking at the dead body on the floor   
“I guess I just got myself fired” you said leaving the room, you could swear you heard Derek chuckle at the bad pun.

 

______________

 

Spencer was at the hospital and you were held back by Hotch, obviously to talk about your scene on the crime scene. When you got to the waiting area of Spencer’s room, JJ saw you by the door and asked you to come in. You were ridiculously nervous.

“He asked about you all the time” she smiled at me and I could feel my cheeks burn red as I entered the room. Morgan was there too and looked to JJ, leaving you and Reid alone as soon as you got by his bedside.

“Hey” you didn’t exactly knew how to start a conversation, you felt guity for him being this hurt, for not being able to help him sooner “how are you holding up?”

“Well, differently from the unsub, I’ll live” he chuckled weakly and you hit him on his arm, he left out an _OUCH_ and held your hand, caressing them with his thumbs “and you?”

“Me? I’m officially unemployed and probably homeless” you left a sad laugh out and met his eyes with yours “but Hotch said he’ll work his magic and I won’t go to jail aaaaand you’re alive. it’s all that matters”

“I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to see you again” he whispered and your heart raced on your chest, now you were sure he could listen to it “When I saw you there, all I wanted to do was tell you how amazing you are and how thankful I am that you are in my life” now you felt your eyes burn and tears roll down your cheeks. 

“I’m sorry you’ve been through all this, I’m sorry I couldn’t help you sooner, Spence” you were clearly rambling on your words and he shut you up with a kiss, pulling you closer 

“Thank you for saving my life” he breathed beneath kisses and you went up on his bed, straddling him so you could have better access to his lips “It was really, really… sexy, you know?” you had to laugh as he pulled you by the waist the best he could.

“I kill a man and you think it’s sexy?” your hands were on his chest now, your foreheads leaning agains one another.

“You were pretty badass…” his smirk was too much for words and you attacked his face with kisses again now earning little cries from him, from where he was sore.

 

“OH CMON GUYS THIS IS A HOSPITAL” Derek entered the room and you two started laughing again, Spencer made room so you were half sit and half laid by his side on the bed, his head now on your chest. “You two, calm down. Reid we’re going home soon. Looks like you’re better than expected and Hotch want us back in Quantico again as soon as possible for all the paperwork coming, thanks to your girlfriend” Derek gave you an ugly look before smiling at both of you “I’m happy for you, but please, not on the hospital, nor on the plane. Not now” he winked at us and left again, leaving me red and Spencer chuckling.

“What does he mean by ‘not now’?” you were stroking Spencer’s long hair and held a laugh.

“Well, sad it’s never gonna happen, since I lost my job on the BAU and my apartment that belonged to the BAU, and my car” the expression on Reid’s face was priceless 

“What are your plans now?” he hugged you closer now and you took a deep breath, thinking for a couple of seconds.

“I don’t know, maybe I’ll go to Vegas and become a stripper” the silence was a white elephant on the room until you couldn’t fight the urge to burst into laugher anymore “Oh my you really thought I was serious!!!” Reid’s eyes were now on yours, but he wasn’t laughing 

“Come live with me” he dropped the bomb and you felt your stomach turn upside down, opening your mouth and closing without making a sound “I don’t wanna think about losing you again, we’ll think about the job later, I live alone and it gets lonely and boring. Come live with me” he said again. You were afraid, but something inside of you said you had nothing to lose, you killed someone for this man, you felt good with Spencer, you felt home.

“I love you, Spencer” you whispered like a prayer against his lips, kissing him again, softly

“You still owe me a first date” he smiled between kisses, holding you closer again, you let you an audible _“UUUGHHHH”_ “I love you” he whispered against your lips and you felt yourself home again, on his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, this was supposed to be the end, but the next (and last) chapter is some fluff and smut and extended version and just pretty cuteness. 
> 
> I'll probably be up by tomorrow ^^
> 
> As always, requests and comments are always welcome


	8. Doctor Who and Ice Cream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happily ever after, just a cute ending and shameless smut. Do not judge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally!!!! I wish I had written so much more but I run out of the ideas ): Spencer is quite a hard character to me.  
> I hope you enjoyed the ride, kiddos and enjoy the last cute teeth rotten, shameless smut, lovely chapter of this story.
> 
> Thank you all for reading!

_(some days later)_  
  
  
“That’s all your stuff?” Spencer opened the door for you, surprised at the two suitcases and one backpack you carried, you agreed with a head nod.  
  
“Everything else was already on the apartment, which means is not mine, which means I lost when I lost my job saving your pretty ass for the second time, if I can remember well” Spencer pouted, holding you by the waist and you left a chaste kiss on his lips.  
  
“I’m happy you are here” he whispered to you  
  
“Why wouldn’t I do for you, my sweet prince?” you purred back.  
  
“I have a few ideas of how to repay you” he smirked taking your hand and leading you into the apartment. Reid couldn’t see but your smile was as big as his, and you knew were this was going.  
  
  
  
As soon as you got to the bedroom, Spencer pulled you into a kiss, you didn’t have any time to be together since before all shit happened and you sure missed him. The way his soft hands made up your back caused you to shiver, getting small chuckles from Reid, under the kiss. Your hands were already working on taking his clothes off and tangling his long hair in your hands, earning moans from him.   
  
Spencer took off your shirt and bra, laying you on the bed and running his fingers towards your body slowly. He kissed your collarbones, your chest, taking a long time on each of your nipples making you cry a little and rock your hips under him, who only held it in place.  
  
“Calm down” he whispered against your skin, the hot breath making you even more needy of him.  
  
He got up again, this time to take off your pants and underwear, taking the rest of his clothing off afterwards which made you lick your lips and smirk, you could swear he blushed a little. Spencer was on top of you again, your hands on his back and arms going for his erection but he stopped you, looking into your eyes asking for…permission? You weren’t sure of what he was doing but you stopped anyways, resting your hands on your sides as his lips found yours once again, on a greedy kiss, biting your lower lip to a point that he got a moan out of you. His kisses went down to your neck, with bites and licks and down to your breasts and stomach, his hands working perfectly on your super sensitive nipples. Your heard was on a spiral of sensations when you could finally understand what was going on, Reid’s mouth was between your thighs, kissing and biting them gently. You held stronger on the bed sheets, breathing deeply when finally his tongue found your clit, taking its time there on circular motions before sucking your lower lips and exploring your wet core with his mouth.  
You were already making loud sounds for him, trying to breathe with the strong sensation of pleasure growing inside you. Your hands once again on his hair as you rocked your hips against his mouth on a desperate need of more friction. Reid understood your speechless request and  you felt one and the two fingers being introduced inside you and then curled, hitting just the right spot.  
  
“…ffffuck Spence…” you breathe out, arching your back at the sensation, his tongue already on your clit.  
  
“I want you to cum for me (Y/N)” the vibrations against your sensitive spot were to much for you and you knew you were closer and closer. Spencer changed his fingers and tongue of places and now his fingers worked faster on your clit “I want you to be mine” he looked at you before licking you one more time, putting more pressure on his fingers and you exploded, crying out his name. You rode your orgasm feeling Reid’s tongue licking you clean and his hands on your hips, as he got up all you could do was smile, breathless, and kiss him, tasting yourself on his lips  
  
“I love you” you whispered on a shaken voice, starting to kiss down his collarbones and the soft spot between the shoulders and neck, your nails digging down his back as he positioned himself between your legs “I want you more than anything Spencer” these words were said looking deeply into his eyes and you could feel his heartbeat racing against you while his lips found yours one more time, but now on a loving kiss.   
  
The kiss was only broken by a moan of both of you when he was finally inside you, the feeling of being complete with Spencer was something you could never describe, something you had only experienced with him. He was different from everyone else you’ve been with, caring. You moved a little under his body to let him know you were comfortable and his thrusts started, slowly at first, both of you enjoying the feeling, eyes locked on each other. You could swear you were blushing at the way he looked at you. When the movements started getting faster and hitting you just right Spencer buried his head on your neck, breathing against your skin, your hips colliding only increasing the pleasure.   
Spencer moved his angle slightly, but enough to make you let out a scream of surprise and hear a soft laugh from him, who know kept an inhuman pace. You knew you were close again, and bit his shoulder, crying out your second orgasm of the day, calling his name.   
The feeling of your inner walls colliding against his member and your whole body was too much for him and almost at the same time you felt Spencer’s hands holding you stronger, he calling you name like a prayer, riding his orgasm inside you until his body collapse on top of yours.  
  
  
You both stayed there quiet for a couple of minutes, his head on your chest as you played with his hair, feeling boneless, your eyes closed.  
  
“I’ve never been happier” Spencer took you off from your dream-like state, he was looking at you with heavy eyes and a sweet smile “I’ve almost died twice since I met you and I’ve never been happier”  
  
“You said it like it was my fault” your eyes were on his hair, you were no good with talking about feeling and you were sure you would cry and be emotional, which was not good at all. Spencer laughed.  
  
“The happy part is” he kissed you, making you smile again “I love you” the whisper was like a secret, you responded on the same tone  
  
“I love you so much I want to stay forever” the words coming out of your mouth scared you, you were never the girl who stayed.  
  
“Then do” his eyes were honest and sweet, his eyes were your paradise. You kissed him again, assuring him of how much you loved him and how much you meant every word you just said to him.   
  
  
After the kiss, he got off from the top of you, laying on your side, hugging you and covering you with a blanket.  
  
  
“So, now that we are two consenting adults on a relationship, what are we gonna do on this amazing day?” you asked stretching your arms lazily and playfully slapping him on the face.  
  
“I don’t know…” he looked at you for a second and then to the TV on the room, smiling like a mischievous kid “Doctor Who and Ice Cream?” you hi-fived each other, and you smiled as he got up, going to the kitchen. How could you not love Spencer Reid?  
  
  
  
  



End file.
